Those Who Do Not Learn from the Past

There has been a lot going on here that I don’t talk about because well, it’s just stuff.  Nothing can be done about it. Everything that is a problem is out of my control & all I can do is wait. We’re all alive & well and things are good with DH & I, it’s just… stuff.  So there is this constant sort of background stress going on that saps my energy.

Yesterday Vanity saw an opening and decided to take advantage of it.

See, Common Sense has been working hard the past couple months and is sort of worn down by everything. And Common Sense is really the only thing between me and whatever wild hair Vanity gets.

And speaking of hair….

While I was at the gym Vanity suddenly decided that a new hair color was in order and Common Sense, exhausted by trying to keep on top of everything just sort of looked at Vanity and was all “Really? That’s where you are going? Hair? Do we have to do this now? There are still 20 minutes left on this treadmill & I’m trying to listen to an audiobook. Go away.”

But Vanity sensed weakness and wouldn’t let it go. ‘Yes! Hair! Gorgeous hair! Reddish brown, shiny curls! Just imagine it!”

Common Sense replied “I don’t need to imagine it. I can remember it quite well. It’s always ends badly. Let it go”

And Vanity said “It’ll be different this time! Promise!”

Really, you do have to admire Vanity’s eternal optimism in the face of repeated failures..

Common Sense sighed and dragged herself away from the adventures of Decius Caecilius Metellus the Younger to remind Vanity of the numerous occasions dye jobs went wrong but Vanity was unmoved. 

“It’ll be different this time. It really will.” she insisted.

“Ok fine” came Common Sense. “We’ll start saving up for coloring at a salon.  We’re going to need at least $150 by the time all the color, tone & highlights are done.”

Vanity wasn’t having it. Vanity knew the earliest that was likely to happen was December and Vanity is extremely impatient.  “We’ll get a box! Boxes are fine! And only $10!”

Common Sense retaliated with “No boxes!  All color has to be done by a stylist! You PROMISED that after the last box job.”

Vanity was silent, knowing full well I had to stop by the drug store to pick up a prescription and to get to the pharmacy I had to walk past the hair color section.

Common Sense mistook that silence for agreement and was therefor quite baffled to find me holding this less than a minute after entering the store.

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“You PROMISED!!” wailed Common Sense

Vanity was very excited about this box. “See! Gorgeous reddish brown! Copper tones! It’s perfect.”

Common Sense muttered darkly about frizzy hair, roots and glow in the dark color hoping to summon her backup, the Insecurities.  But the Insecurities have had an even harder time the last couple months and couldn’t be bothered to do more than agree gloomily that yes, fizzy hair, bad color, etc, whatever… leaving Common Sense with no help whatsoever.

Vanity played her trump card “Life’s been difficult. We deserve a treat!”

Common Sense is sort of a sucker for treats when she is feeling worn down & suggested a bar of really good dark chocolate instead. Vanity thought that was no good because the chocolate would be gone in no time and Common Sense said that was sort of the point. We’d be stuck with this hair fiasco for months!

Vanity knew she had the upper hand and before I knew it I was at home with a bunch of dye in my hair.

And for once my bathroom did not look like a particularly gruesome murder had been committed in it..

Vanity took this as a sign this would all be perfect but Common Sense just shook her head, the cynicism plain to see.

I ended up not with the darkish coppery hair of the box (big surprise there) but instead my hair is the color of a (fuzzy) shiny penny.  It’s pretty but not what Vanity wanted.

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(it’s brighter than this photo shows. It glows in the sun.)

This of course led to Common Sense jumping up and down and chanting “Told you so! Told you so!” over an over like a hyperactive toddler and sent Vanity off sulking somewhere. The Insecurities can’t be bothered to have an opinion right now but say they will like it…maybe in a week or so, when it is slightly less bright.  It has promise.

And meanwhile I have hair the color of a shiny penny.

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7 comments to Those Who Do Not Learn from the Past

  • Shiny penny hair looks good! I love the way you argue the two sides to the argument. It’s amazing how a change of hair colour/cut/style can make you feel better. My daughter had a total change of job direction a few years back and trained as a hairdresser. A year after she qualified, she went back into the business world, but we still benefit from free hair cuts and colours – saves us a fortune!

  • You have such a gift for words!! DH and I howled thru this!

  • “It has promise” I like the sound of that.

  • Jenny B.

    You totally WIN the internet today for warning parents about the very dangerous and controversial “clean bathroom challenge”!

  • LOL – great post – I think Vanity did OK :-)
    Vanity has been beaten into submission by Sloth here – and we’re waiting for the all grey hairs to gang up and turn me ash blonde!

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