Going together

Actually it’s “going together”.

When I was a pre teen, back in the late 70s before such a term was in use, couples that age were not ‘dating’. They were ‘going together’.

The main difference as I remember it was that you rarely saw the person you were ‘going’ with. It was almost an entirely phone based relationship.

You might not even know that person well. You saw them at the skating rink. You had a friend who knew a friend of theirs. These friends acts as intermediaries, if everyone likes what you see the two of you sit over on a picnic bench and drink Slush Puppies together and talk. If that goes well you share phone numbers & hold hands while you skate around the rink until the parents come to get you.

Everyone then knows you are ‘going together’ & you talk on the phone every night & only ever see each other for two hours on Friday nights at the skating rink.

We sometimes said ‘going steady’ but that meant you’d kissed.

It would last until one of you is seen holding hands with someone else.  Then BOOM!

It was practice dating. We started playing Spin the Bottle and 5 Minutes in the Closet soon after and then moved on to dating from there.

It’s funny how things you had completely forgotten about suddenly come back to you when your own child reaches that point.

Havoc is 11. He will be in the 6th grade come September.

School let out last Thursday morning.

Thursday afternoon an intermediary called the house and spoke to Havoc about her friend. She’d already spoken to Havoc’s friend and they both agreed that Havoc, and a girl I shall for now call Chatty, ought to get together. Then Havoc’s friend called as well & repeated this.

Havoc said he’d agree but she had to ask since it was her idea. (and that was the part that triggered the memory of the skating rink)

Chatty called Thursday evening.

They talked for 2 hours!

Friday the spoke for one hour because we had to leave because of baseball. Saturday we were gone from 9am until 11pm.  Sunday they spoke 2 different times for a total of almost 3 hours. Monday they talked for 90 minutes & then I made Havoc get off because I needed to use it & when I was done they got back on and talked for 45 minutes!

I remember that.  I remember sitting in the hallway, tethered by a well stretched phone cord to the one phone in the house, mounted on the kitchen wall.

You had to whisper to avoid being overheard & with the general noise level of being in the hall by a kitchen & next to the family room, no one on the phone could hear what you were saying if you whispered.

Also, Dad would boot me off constantly with no notice because he had to make calls.

I need to throw Havoc off the phone more often.

Just to give him a more authentic going together experience.

Do they still play Spin the Bottle? Or is it all sexting now?

I have no idea what I am getting into with this this .

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3 comments to Going together

  • I love this. It brought back so many memories for me too. “Going together” is the phrase we used too, I remember. But I also remember how we used to watch your tv shows which showed your phone habits in envy because we didn’t have phones with very long cords and we didn’t have cheap or free local calls. So we had to beg to use the phone and then it was only for a few minutes at a time. It’s great that he has someone he can talk to (though maybe, as we say round here, he never gets a word in edegways?) :)

  • Like Sian we didn’t have the benefit of free local calls so phone “dating” was something we saw only in the movies. Nowadays so many kids have mobile phones that it’s probably a whole different experience. My kids reckoned I’d ruined their entire (social) lives because I bucked the trend and didn’t allow them to have a mobile until they were 16 (about 10 years later than half their friends). That’s what parents are for right?!

  • What a great post! Reminds me of when Henry was in middle school. Now there’s a lot more texting and face time; not that much talking on the phone.