These are Mayhem’s shoes
or rather they were Mayhem’s shoes.
As you can see they are unwearable
Cheap or pricy, all of Mayhem’s shoes blow out the same way. The little tab of sole that wraps up over the front of the toes gets ripped down and takes the sole with it eventually.
Please note these are velcro shoes.
All velcro shoes available around here have this sole design; one that catches easily on playground tarmac & field dirt & gets dragged on the ground on swings & bikes. The kind of shoes that have a sole edge that wraps around the shoes only come in tie style shoes.
Mayhem’s new shoes.
But there is a problem.
Mayhem, at age 9, cannot tie his shoes.
Mayhem has issues with fine motor skills. It’s why his handwriting is atrocious & why there is always a huge mess around his plate after using silverware.
Oh the issues aren’t that bad – not bad enough to require outside intervention, though I have tried. The tests always come back with him just inside ‘normal’ range, so no IEP & no help. Though his teachers are good about letting him write out his answers on an ipad, just like two other kids who do have an IEP, so his school work isn’t suffering.
But he can’t tie his shoes and that isn’t the school’s problem, it’s ours.
Here is the thing about Mayhem – if he can’t do it perfectly on the first attempt it’s hopeless and he’ll never do it right ever; BUT! if he can do it once, then he has mastered it and never has to do it again.
It makes it very hard to teach him some things, especially things that involve fine motor skills, like tying shoes.
This is the reaction we end up with 98% of the time.
Because he is “DOING EXCATLY WHAT YOU SAID AND IT DOESN’T WORK!!!! EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN OVER?!? YOU SAID UNDER!!!”
We’ve tried 3 different tying methods. All 3 of us (including Havoc) have taken turns trying to show Mayhem how to tie his shoes. I’ve stooped to threats, telling him he has to learn to tie his shoes because if he thinks I am coming to all his college football games & tying his cleats for him he better start thinking again right now.
Basically he can’t hold a loop of lace in one hand and work the other lace around it. He also can’t hold two loops of lace & cross them over and pull one through to tie them. Nor can he work the ‘magic fingers’ version because it involves opening his fingers & grasping the lace around one finger at the same time as another.
His fingers just don’t want to work that way.
Havoc had a frustrating time learning too, which is why I can now tie shoes 3 different ways. The double loop method worked best for Havoc. DH had never seen it before so he was confused when Havoc showed him.
It took me a dozen tries to figure out the magic fingers one and I too was “DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID!!” and couldn’t make the knot work.
So I understand the frustration with seeing it and not understanding it, even with photos, & step by step instructions & a youtube video. There was a point I just wasn’t getting. I even succeeded twice before I realized how I was doing it.
But we are now on day 6 of the “shoe tying lesson” and we still have about a 50% success rate with Mayhem.
It’s a problem we often forget. He just has bad handwriting & is a messy eater. But then we encounter this and remember it’s an actual issue. Not just him being lazy or not trying to be neat. He genuinely has a problem with his fine motor skills. His fingers really can’t work the way he wants them too without far more effort than most people have to make.
But we are getting there.
It just takes more time than we expect.