The Ongoing Fictionalization

New developments!

A warrior or knight has come with promises to cure the technology or slay the dragon!

(I really ought to pick a direction with this – dystopia or fantasy)

But are they the Chosen One? Will they cure/slay the plague assaulting the land & compel the criminals/wizards into a working unit thus freeing the Plucky Band of Adventures to set the world to rights?

Or are they a Dark Warrior, here to destroy the plague and the criminals/wizards, as well as most of the Adventurers, leaving only a few, grateful for their lives, to toil in their new Dark Empire?

It’s too soon to tell.

Honestly this is starting to become more of a Role Playing Game than a story. Stories have a coherent plot with peaks & valleys and chapter endings, whereas this just drags on and on, an endless series of events with a lot of build up and no real resolutions.

I feel like I ought to be rolling a 20 sided dice and figuring out the criminals/wizards & Plucky Adventurers hit points so I know who’s going down.  Sadly for most, a high intelligence & low strength means they probably don’t have all that many to spare, especially if you figure the stress has to be taking a few points over time as well. The ones with low intelligence AND low strength are totally screwed. Especially the one who also is kinda low on wisdom as well.

DH and I had a long talk the other night about what the fictionalization needs to get it moving into more of a coherent story & out of the dungeons & dragons realm.

It needs an interjection of true fiction.

It needs a murder.

All the best stories have one.

But who to kill off? There is almost an embarrassment of riches from which to choose.

Our first thought was the old standby “First kill all the lawyers!”, which would certainly throw a wrench in to the works of the mafia don and the Gang of 3 or 4. Lawyers figure prominently in the dystopian world I imagined. The Don and the Gang go through them in vast quantities, abusing & mistreating them then tossing them aside, thus limiting the pool of available replacements as word does tend to get around, and if you start randomly killing the current ones off I bet that small pool would dry right up. A lack of lawyers would make it harder for the two sides to combat one another indirectly. They’d have to start hiring thugs and threaten one another’s families & property directly.

This would certainly get things moving.

Wizards don’t generally need lawyers. They have other means at their disposal for dealing with problems.  I imagine suing someone is pretty much the very last resort of a wizard. Even on Discworld. Though I am betting the powerful solo wizard would get Mr Slant on his side. The others would take too long to decide to get a lawyer & so would lose out on hiring Slant.

I wonder how Vimes would deal with all this? Lord Vetinari would certainly take an interest in things by this point & send Vimes to handle it. Vimes’d probably send Detritus.

I’d pay good money to see that.

Killing lawyers more or less means I have to go dystopian & I prefer to keep my options open a bit longer. So instead of lawyers it’d be better to kill off  the don, one of the gang or a wizard. But do so in a suspicious manner that results in the arrest of one of the others,complicating things further.

Perhaps a lead up of lesser events directed at all parties & done by all parties. The don’s tires are slashed, the head of the wizard college’s hat goes missing & turns up shredded & served in soup, a gang member’s house is set on fire, culminating in someone firing shots of some sort at someone else but no one is harmed. The police/watch are called in but everyone is powerful enough to be left alone since no one was actually hurt.

And then,a few days later, a body, dead in a highly suspicious manner, turns up from one side and naturally the primary suspect(s) are the other side.

Consternation and confusion by everyone! Including the Plucky Band of Adventurers, who cannot be entirely ruled out as suspects. After all these people have been making the Adventurer’s lives miserable for ages. Maybe one of them saw an opportunity to become the Chosen One by taking down what they thought was the worst of the bunch.

Maybe they were all in together.

Who has an alibi? Where were they each on the night of the dark of the moon? Who knows how to make hat soup? Who inherits? The don/gang/wizards are rich. Maybe it’s all some sordid family crime & nothing to do with the conflict. Will there be a second murder? (of course there will be; there is always a second murder) Can the don/wizards/gang members who survive cover it all up? Will they pursue justice of their own? Will they try to frame an Adventurer, thus requiring a Chosen One to clear the accused’s name?

The story possibilities are just piling up now that we have totally moved out of reality. And I could always interject bits of real events if they add interesting twists.

I think this Series of Unpleasant Events has diverged into a reality based role playing game on the one hand and a totally fictional murder mystery on the other.

Which doubles the number of blog post topics available to me. Not a bad thing really.

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4 comments to The Ongoing Fictionalization

  • I want zombies . . . lots and lots of zombies.

  • Two thoughts:

    1) Don’t wear a red shirt! You know what happens to those wearing red shirts.
    2) I have a gazebo and many different sided dice (sorry for the obscure D&D reference)

    But don’t listen to Rinda – Zombies are passe surely? They’ve made it into mainstream just like vampires. Me, I’d go find Nanny Ogg or Granny Weatherwax or the Nac Mac Feegle…

  • Ahhhh, this is marvelous, it will be a best selling book followed by a movie and a role playing game!!!!

  • Mel

    Every cloud, eh? I was going to recommend Granny Weatherwax but I see that Missus Wookie is before me!