Back in the day, before kids, I usually did something color related to my hair when October came around.
Like the leaves on the trees, my hair changed color in the fall.
Despite the best efforts of Common Sense to talk Vanity out of it.
Then Havoc was born in early October one year. Shortly before his birth I had the most awesome red highlights done.
But oh they were pricy!
And with the coming of Havoc I became a stay at home mom. So pricy highlights became a thing of the past.
Time. Money. I had neither.
Then I went and had ANOTHER baby right around the time Vanity was agitating for new highlights.
A few years passed with Vanity looking longingly at the hair color section in the drug store every autumn and Common Sense dragging her by the arm away from it in search of child cold meds, diapers, wipes and occasionally a bottle of nail polish.
Vanity can usually be bribed into good behavior with a bottle of nail polish, though Common Sense occasionally wonders just how many bottles of purple polish a person needs.
Then a couple years back Vanity won a round on the hair front and overcame both Common Sense and the Insecurities to purchase some purple hair dye and put in a few purple hair streaks.
no photo because I cannot remember exactly which month or year I did it
This was ok. Vanity liked them well enough but would prefer them a bit more vibrant. But woe and alas! I have darkish brown hair and to get vibrant purple streaks I’d have to bleach it first and since the purple will eventually fade/wash out I would eventually be left with bleach streaks in my hair.
Common Sense & the Insecurities are down on this idea. They don’t like it, won’t even discuss it. Vanity doesn’t really press the issue. Vanity doesn’t like the idea of bleach streak/highlights either. The ‘silvery’ ones that have been popping up for several years now are sufficient.
But it doesn’t stop Vanity from looking at the purple hair dye and wondering “what if?” and “How bad could it be?”.
Which is why Common Sense never ever lets Vanity go shopping alone.
Yesterday I found myself, along with Vanity, Common Sense, and the Insecurities, in the hair coloring section once again. And once again the three way conversation about purple highlights began. But Vanity has gotten clever. Vanity distracted the others with “Well what about red? Remember the awesome red highlights in 2002?” Common Sense & the Insecurities immediately began muttering about money and there was much wailing & gnashing of teeth over finding a good color stylist & the fact that they don’t come cheap. While Common Sense & the Insecurities were wringing their hands over the impossibility of it all, Vanity found a box of hair color that claimed it was “REDS for DARK HAIR ONLY” and got all sorts of excited.
Vanity believes advertising claims you see.
Common Sense was less than thrilled. It could only end in tears. And dried out brassy hair.
The Insecurities had wandered off to look at the nearby nail polish display, leaving Common Sense alone in it’s defense of NO HAIRCOLOR.
Vanity then received a sudden boost of support from Inappropriate Humor, who suggested it had been ages and ages since I made the bathroom look the scene of a really gruesome murder while coloring my hair & wouldn’t that be a nice surprise for DH?
Bolstered by the unexpected help, Vanity told Common Sense to get stuffed and bolted for the checkout, box in hand. Common Sense just sighed and decided to spend it’s time working out the best tone of voice in which to say “Told you so!” when Vanity whined about dried out brassy hair in a few weeks.
I came home, dug out my highlighting cap & hair hook and went to work pulling hair through the holes. Then I did some higher math to work out how many ounces I’d need of each thing if I only used a third of the product (not needing all of it). Then I had to convert the ounces to grams because my kitchen scale only deals in round numbers & I needed 1.56 ounces of something with no way to even guess at it.
Then I mixed up the stuff, slathered it on my hair and waited.
While I waited I mopped the kitchen floor. I mopped the kitchen because somehow I had failed to turn my bathroom into a B movie horror scene.
I don’t know how that happened or if I can ever duplicate it.
Despite wearing vinyl gloves & a cape, I did manage to get orange/red splotches on my hands, arms & shoulders. So that’s something anyway.
This is the end result.
I had to go outside, into full sun, for the red to appear because, despite Vanity’s dearest hopes, the box doesn’t seem to have meant my shade of dark hair. In the house, they are barely visible but they do lend an overall reddish tone to my hair outside.
Vanity got some new hair color. Common Sense got to say I told you so & the Insecurities found a nice shade of orange nail polish for my Halloween nails.
So that’s all good.