A Moment Spent Waiting

It’s 12:55pm and I am waiting, as patiently as 12 years of Catholic school teaches you wait, though I am slouching in my chair and no doubt Sister Ethelrida would come around and poke me in the back with her ruler if she could see me. I am waiting as patiently as repeatedly standing 9th deep in line for a cashier at Wal Mart teaches you to wait, as sitting at the end of the driveway day after day waiting for a bus that arrives when it feels like teaches you to wait, as waiting for chronically late people to turn up teaches you to wait.

I’m good at waiting. I’ve had endless practice at it.

The boys are in school. DH is at work. I have just swept & mopped the kitchen and cleaned the bathroom. I find cleaning helps the waiting to go faster. I am sitting here at my computer not editing photos. I don’t edit photos frequently. There is always something to distract me from actually editing the photos once I have Lightroom open. Currently it is the tv. My longing for silence, that pressed on me for all of August, as it does every August, was met early this year. The kids have only been in school for 4 weeks and already I have the tv. Normally it is late November, or even December before I turn the tv on during the day.

Maybe it is just another thing to distract me from my waiting.

My mind wanders over lists I probably ought to write down but won’t because “I’ll remember it”, things I need to buy, things to have ready for Havoc’s birthday, book titles,

Was that a truck? In my driveway? I strain to hear the familiar sound of a truck backing up in my turn circle but all I hear over the tv is the clucking of chickens and the distant sound of a vehicle. Sound travels far in the country & I listen a little longer. Is it getting closer? Farther? Does it sound more like a car? Or a delivery van? Maybe a bucket truck? But then the sound dies, whatever it was it has driven away from me.

I think about other things I am waiting for, more information on alternate insurance plans, someone to call me back about my prescription, for the Gang of 4 to make up their mind about the next step or the Old Guard to stage a surprise attack.  Right now there are a lot of people going about their days not making the decisions that will affect me when they get around to making them and I find waiting on them to finally come around to looking at this issue or that and maybe or maybe not actually doing something quite frustrating.

I can wait for a cashier. I may think she in inefficient and I will think evil evil thoughts about the people who wait until everything is rung up and bagged before it suddenly occurs to them then need to find some way of PAYING for the items and they start digging around in purses, pockets or backpacks but I can see progress. Eventually that customer pays and the next begins and we all move forward. If the bus takes too long to show up I can call the bus company and ask where it is and when it will arrive. I can do the same for people who are late.

But these other things, these things that other people need to get around to acting on in their own good time, according to their own priorities & not mine, drive me crazy. There is a sword over my head and a clock counting down and it’s other people’s actions that may or may not remove the sword, may or may not allow me to make choices or have them forced on me. And it’s not their priority, so they will get to it when they get to it.

I can do nothing about them. So I try to live in the moment and just think about what I am waiting for right now. I am waiting for one of my very favorite people in the whole world to come by. I always always love to see them & get no end antsy waiting for them to show up. Their visits always bring me joy.

But it is so frustrating to wait.

I mean, it’s 12:58pm already! Shouldn’t UPS have been here by now!?!

They have my new Kindle Fire & I want to get it charged & loaded with books before we leave for football practice!

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3 comments to A Moment Spent Waiting

  • I always say I’m not a good waiter, but then sometimes I actually am. But most of the time I just get angry because people aren’t as organized and with it like I am.

    And don’t get me started on mail delivery and UPS. Because both are jerks and both deliver whenever they feel like it, not necessarily when their website says they will deliver. I just stop checking delivery confirmation information because it has never once been right. Like that time it said “delivered” and it very much wasn’t. But it showed up three days later by a UPS driver in a weird, small brown truck. It was all strange and he’s lucky he left alive.

  • Rinda

    Awesome job Stacey! I am good at waiting, too. I think it’s the type of waiting you learn when you travel in foreign countries.

  • Waiting for delivery drivers requires a very special sort of patience. I think you described it perfectly :)