ISP 1, God 0

Well, they did it.

They defied all the omens & portents. All the clear, clear signs of Divine displeasure.

They took my tower Thursday.

(hangs head in grief)

They came in a white van, early in the morning, before I’d had enough coffee to mount a coherent protest to their actions.

wtower (2)

The tower didn’t stand a chance


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wtower (5)

Can I get a moment of silence?


Ok, so, I deal with negative situations by finding the funny.

Know what is funny about a tower being replaced by a pole?

That’s right!

Jokes & innuendos about poles and guys trying to erect their poles!

Towers just don’t lend themselves to innuendo quite like poles do.

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I disparaged the pole the man was trying to get up, finding it inadequate to the task. I need a big long pole, not the piddly short little thing he was showing me.

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He extoled the benefits and perks of his shorter pole to distract me from the loss of my Big Man, but I wasn’t buying it. I need length to satisfy my needs!

And thickness. His pole seemed much to skinny to withstand the blowing it was going to get.

Once they had everything all arranged, a guy sat on the top of the ladder, reached between his legs and started yanking on the pole to get it up.

No really!

He did!

He slid his hands down it and then pulled upward.

Over and over again.

That’s how he does it every time, he said.

I can’t prove this actually happened because I was helping him with it & couldn’t take photos.

Yes, I helped the tower thief erect his pole.

Dear Penthouse… I want some fun & interesting search strings to result from this post.

After a great deal of yanking, huffing, puffing, cursing, and claims that he didn’t normally have this much trouble getting his pole up, the tower thief finally achieved full erection of his pole (if THAT doesn’t get me some SEO I don’t know what will).

And here it is

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I’ve lost signal strength, mostly noticeable on weekends & evenings when everyone is using the internet.

But I have gained cell signal in the house. I have 3 bars here at my desk. We’re going to see how things go for a couple of months but should this prove to work well, we are going to cancel our land line.

We’ll stop paying Verizon for a home phone & continue paying Verizon wireless 3x as much for cell service.

um..yea us! I think.

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18 comments to ISP 1, God 0

  • SciFi Dad

    Here, the landline keeps its home so long as long distance charges on mobile are insane. Everyone lives out of town, so LD can get expensive.

  • Darcy@Somewhatmuddledmusings

    Well, it's about time LOL

  • LosingBrownies

    Hurray for great cell reception! Not paying for a land line should be pretty sweet!

  • Michelle

    Too funny. I wonder how many diappointed searchers you will get…lol.

  • Lizziemade

    Oh ho, such a funny post! I'll bet you will be in every search engine in the world – how sad they'll be when they only get a post about telephone reception… (you are very naughty though, you know that, don't you? I should really be very disapproving and refuse to come back to your blog.. .but instead of course, I am laughing!)
    That was a cool tower though… I hope you have good enough reception/ bandwidth etc to still have a good internet service; otherwise, maybe it won't have been worth getting that indoor cellphone reception.
    Better wait for a good and windy Saturday afternoon, to check on that one!

  • Sabrina

    Tower thieves are some mean people! Hope your reception gets better soon!
    Oh and by the way: thank you for the nice comment on my blog!
    xx Sabrina

  • Katie

    I laughed so loud when I read this I scared my stepmother. :) The humor in your writing comes through for sure. I'm sorry about your tower, but hey at least you get awesome cell service? (Yay?…I think)

  • Sara

    *RIP big pole*

    And for a second, I thought van actually said "Tower Thieves". I really wish it did. That would have probably made my week.

  • Sonya

    My husband is an RF guy and ham radio operator and he wants to erect his 45 foot tower in our back yard… sounds like he could use this as a training video!

  • scrapchick

    hehe, funny! Sorry about the tower thieves but glad you got some cell service! And yes – so agree with the land line bit – I wince every time I have to pay the cell bill. Give me back those "expensive" $60 cause you live in the sticks bills!

  • Andrea @ The Creative Junkie

    holy damn shit, Stacey … I think you won the SEO sweepstakes with this one!

    *giving you a standing ovation*

  • humel

    Darn it!! I was rooting for you and God :-(

    Now please, please tell me that you actually spray-painted the actual van with the actual words 'tower thieves', and that it wasn't photo editing – please!!

  • Comfy Mom

    Long distance is free on our mobiles. As long as we are 'in network' personally. If we are roaming it is insane

  • Comfy Mom

    I told them they needed a sign but they claim to install more equipment than they remove.
    I beg to differ.

  • Comfy Mom

    Thank you! I worked really hard on all that innuendo. :)

  • Comfy Mom

    Oh I wanted too, but they insist they really do more "Installation" which is what the van actually says, than they do removal. I disagree.